Doctor’s Diagnosis: The Inconvenient Truth

Symptoms:

Dr.: So what's it with you this time?

P: A few months ago, I felt this kind of feeling...kind of awkwardness, there was a twitching in my feet and hands..my heart beat faster then I froze, my mouth and throat went dry.. I couldn't speak...my mind went blank and I felt paralyzed. Did I have a mild stroke, Doc?

Dr.: Maybe. Maybe it's acute panic anxiety reaction. We'll see after you have an MRI. Go on.

P: Then, I felt okay as if nothing happened so I postponed going to Makati Med. I am amused of all the new sensations I am now feeling; I'm jumpy and I laugh a lot at very little things as if there is something tickling me. But there are times when I feel sad.. well, more of longing for something..so I took this drug which the ad said makes Piolo and Angel complete. And I feel different. It is amazing…and puzzling at the same time. It is as if I am in someplace else, doing something else..being with someone else. Most of the time my mind is wandering, wondering..bordering on dreamy.

Dr.: What drugs are you taking now?

P: Here, I am only taking this. It's been six months since I took Virlix for my asthma. Hmm.. could it be possible Doc, that it has a hallucegenic and amphetamine like properties?

Diagnosis:

Dr.: (took the pill and examined it) Hmmm… Where did you buy this?

P: At a small pharmacy near my place. I just told the lady at the counter to give me the drug that makes people complete.

Dr.: When did you start taking this?

P: Four months ago.

Dr.: This is bad..very bad.. maybe a lot of complications…You should probably take a blood test…an angiogram..No..a full body scan..definitely a brain scan...

P: What is it doc?

Dr.: Hmm..a disease mostly affects women…. a viral infection.. usually airborne..

P: ..I-Is it curable?

Dr.: Yes and No. When you said 'someone else'…in your "high" times..isn't it the same person..everytime? Probably someone older, lanky, with absurd ideas… ok fine..witty or whatever, has a weird walk and…

Patient: Uhmm..sort of..yeah?

Dr. House: A love bug. Go home. Get some sleep. Spray some insecticide in your home or whatever, just don't bother me anymore.