Being Bella

A year ago, someone hinted that I was just making him "the driver" so I decided to buy a motorcycle and to learn to drive one this Christmas holiday season. I talked to mom (adding all the reasons why) and ask around for price ranges and payment terms. She told me to consider renting since I am only going to use it for a week.

Then the universe conspires... and today they officially cast me the title role of "Bella Swan". I came home to our small town called Forks err Sablayan, and as Bella's father was in Twilight, surprises her with this:

My sister seconded: Bella..bella..bella... :)

The Return of the Jedi

I'm back.
The Berlin Wall has fallen... no more walls, no ceilings, no floors.
I am ready for the New Moon. :)

Special day

..no matter how much you miss a person, someone new may come around...

And he did. But not without life's uncanny sense of humor. He came with the same name as the one whom she was trying hard to forget. But what is in the name anyway, if that is all they have in common? She lets him know her and she learned more about him. And there she knew that she is chosen not as the girl for now but as someone to travel this life with. She couldn't ask for more, she can't help but say yes.

Today is their day and this is their memorable place: St. James, Alabang.

Que Sera Sera

Whatever the rules of composition are, technicalities of DSLR camera and capabilities of a photoshop, this picture still made me sing...

Que Sera Sera
Doris Day

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be

Now, I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly

Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not our's to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be

Travel in Stages

Travel when you're still young. It is most enjoyed when young...exploring the hidden secrets of a place with friends, losing your way, making mistakes, getting bruises...simply having fun. Enjoy being young and enjoy life with friends.


Travel when you have a family of your own. It should be an obligation by the parents to their kids. It is not necessarily be an overseas travel. It doesn't matter where it is. It could be out of town, to the mall, to a park, a zoo. It's a good way to bond with your kids and your kids will appreciate it. Keep in mind that you might get to enjoy them probably only 16 years then they would like to travel on their own or with their friends.

[Mike: this is life mommy]

Traveling when you get a little older has some serious tone and you'll probably look at it with a different point of view. Probably more businesslike and the conversation would be more like hmmmm....reminiscing the younger days?

We'll see.

Cebu-Bohol Trip

While planning this trip they said: Orayty! If things work out for you it will be a celebration otherwise we're going to console you in your depress-depress-an mode. Either way it will be just the right venue.

And it became a celebration thing. Halleluia! We explored Cebu and Bohol. So far Cebu got the coolest airport and seaport. Having been immune to the inefficiency and unpleasantness of Batangas port, I was amazed by the Cebu port, at least the port where we took the supercat. There are x-rays for luggage, K9 dogs, and where manifesto is automated. Instead of writing your name, address and telephone number, someone will just scan your ticket and a computer will take your picture.

Bohol on the other hand is the cleanest island so far. There are 7,107 islands in the Philippines and I have been in just a few so don't take my word for it but here's one you can take: Don't go high with expectations..be ready to be surprised.

Break-even Point

Break-even Point. In accounting, it is the point where you reach a certain level of sales where there is no loss and there is no gain. A point where total sales equal the total expenses thus, profit is equal to zero. But the computation is far more complicated than summarizing or adding total expenses then subtracting it from total sales. You have to understand the behavior of your costs which is affected by a variety of factors: capacity, price, volume etc. To simplify there are assumptions regarding their relationships that assumed valid over the relevant range of activity and at a specified period of time. When you exceeded the break-even point, you gain-- therefore, you win.

In life sometimes you love someone but that someone doesn't love you back. And sometimes someone loves you but you don't love them in the same way. Quits lang. Even. (hmmm.. or isn't odd?)

When two people break-up they try to get even, resorting to revenge, inflicting pain. When someone scores a point he/she wins and the other loses. Then there's a point where they'll reach the break-even and realized.... Nobody wins.

My law professor once said that love and trust are two different things. You may love someone but you may not trust him or her because love is for you to give and it is given freely but trust is up to the other person if he/she deserves to earn it.

But it is important to note that like the factors in computing the break-even point, truth is only true within the relevant range, within the relevant period of time. It is the point where truth and honesty matter. After such point everything to be said doesn't matter anymore. It becomes insignificant or worse tainted. As time passes a new version of truth exist as this may already have been influenced by new information that changes or affirms prejudice, previous assumptions and then there's a thing called justification.

Personally and in business it has been said that you must learn to see and grab the opportunity otherwise you'll miss it and you lose. The same with truth, we were given limited time and opportunity. Grab it, otherwise you may never earn the trust and lose (it, him or her)

Break-even. Got that point? Exceeded it? Or missed it?

"Suppressio veri expressio falsi"

The Year that Was

It ends here. You received enough shit. Too many second chances. Looking back, you realized how pathetic it is, how ironic it is....

[some text missing]

If they don't see you in their future, why bother? This is something they should realize on their own.
...
If that's the way they treat people, who is she to be treated differently?
But still.....
----

Dr. Cuddy: Men are stupid
Dr. House: I'm with you so far

Disclaimer: The opinion expressed here are the views of the writer (of House) and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of pet's pensieve. :)

-0-

In just one click of a camera, just a second of a moment everything changes. And you'll be surprised of how someone, of how a moment can change your life.

You decided long ago that this is what you love to do, that these are the people you want to be with, that this is the place you want to be. But one person, one huge emotion can change your life forever.

You love them but you have to leave them. This is the life you've been dreaming but you have to forget it. You try to forget someone. And in order to succeed you have to give up everything else. Quit your job, left some friends, and you have to bury a hobby you found. A hobby you were excited to learn so much about until you let someone in. You have to leave because it reminds you so much of the pain.

Then, you try to start a new life.

Wilson: You're saying the pain don't go away?
Cameron: It gets easier, not in two months, not in two years, but no, never really goes away"

- House, season 5

-0-

Every once in a while, a person needs to be alone
Every once in a while, a person should find time to be alone
To reflect, to meditate, to understand and realize if all is you, if everything else is what they seem, if you're on the right track and not blinded by the life's trap.

--
She was asked, " Can we still be friends?"
And she said: You were asking me this now? I will not be a hypocrite that after all you said and done, we're okay, that I'm okay. I cannot even wish you happiness but I cannot wish you pain either. All I can hope is for you to get whatever it is you deserve. In my lowest of times, in times when I needed a friend most you weren't there but instead you inflict more pain and further push me down. And it hurts even deeper that I want to work things out and you don't. And as long as it is a joke to you, no, we can't be friends.

--

If you only have asked me what you really wanted to know then you would have gotten your answer. Then you would have known that there's nothing to be jealous of and learned that there's no need to inflict pain. But you love the mystery and the idea that "you know"..

--
"Is it worth it?", she was asked.
It should have been.

Trees

Trees
Joyce Kilmer - 1886-1918

I THINK that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

Stranded

He used to be the guy who isn't afraid to say and show how he feels, who isn't afraid to send cards, write poems, bring flowers to the girl he cared about. He used to be so gallant, and who doesn't care how far her girl lives and travels just to see and visit her. But she had hurt him. And he was broken... maybe, until now.

He's been patient with her, been there for her. Sometimes she feels he cares about her more than just a friend. But everytime she catches him acting a little differently, he suddenly turns cold. He wouldn't say a thing. He's waiting for her.

But she has too much pride to make the first move.

And so, there they are... just friends.

Reasons and alibis

They say you can't serve two masters at the same time...

Why then are you doing this?

• I am a freakin' lunatic
• It sort of releases any creative juices i might have. During class, I find myself doodling, creating sentences, verses...

Career: Professional stalker
Scene 1: I was on my way home. As I was crossing Espana, I heard someone from behind me, "How's my lecture?". It was one of the new reviewer in school and I do believe that he did great despite the little experience he has as a teacher. Then he asked where I was going. I replied that I am going to Buendia. He said he was too. Then, he asked " Are you taking the FX?". I replied no. " Why not, when there's only a little difference in fare?". Then I saw something in his hand. Abort mission. Abort. He was really nice, and really made an effort for a little conversation. I was probably being mean but honestly, right now I am a little paranoid.
Ahhh, I got to change career...

• I am a philantropist... and this is my foundation of choice
  
• To be free
• Used to be for us, but now, who cares
• So he won't have to lie anymore
• Because I can

Is it right (hemisphere) then, Dr. Grey?

"We are all damaged, it seems" --- Grey's Anatomy

Six-word memoir

Six-word memoir is a telling of a story in six words. Hemingway was said to have done it. So, what's yours?


Tiny man. Huge ego. Overwhelming insecurities.

Found her match. He is taken.

(And she said)
Once a romantic. Now, certified cynic.

He doesn't love her. She was just a passing fancy, an amusing, interesting thing to lighten up and entertain his boring, pathetic life.

He doesn't love her, never did.

---

He wasn't man enough to admit it. He wasn't brave enough to tell the truth. They are living their lives while you are stalling yours. Unfair. You have to believe in something. Anything. Live.

They've moved on. She should too.

The Joker Wins

Told myself I will not write for a while but...

Heath Ledger as the Joker

The joker wins. They conceded. I conceded. And I was teary-eyed as everybody else.

... and this is the year that we're going to celebrate with or without the joker.

-----

It's the 81st Annual Academy Awards and this time they made some changes...I love the way they introduced the presenters and nominees for the Best Supporting Actor/Actress and Best Actor/Actress. Previous winners of each category introduced each nominee. It's like passing down legacy...respect from one artist to another. Personalized. Hmmm. Best by far.

Here's the list of the winners (at least in the categories that I'm interested in :))

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Christina Barcelona
Best Actor: Sean Pean, Milk
Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire